eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
