I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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