Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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