i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
