What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize