yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
