Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the day after is always just damage control
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
