Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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