Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
