I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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