I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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