HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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