my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize