my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize