did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
