Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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