Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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