I am puke
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize