She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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