Please, let me fuck your mom
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is my gift to your gina
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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