Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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