we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
