Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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