Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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