so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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