why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
