dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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