dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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