My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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