She said her name was "party"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize