watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
