I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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