i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
