you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
