thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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