you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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