My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
