Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
