You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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