I want to walk on stilts...naked
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
