Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize