i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
