Sry I called you an 8
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
