respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
