I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
