apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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