I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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