I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
