batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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