He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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