By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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