I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
