i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
