My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize