That's intense
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
