She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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