Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Randomize
