i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
