dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
