how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
