Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cut my penus on the lid.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize