I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
