I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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