You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
