no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
