I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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