when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
