Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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