I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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