i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
