my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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