I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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