Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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