I heard we made out
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
