I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
