Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
